Beautifully Incorrect Notes

So today is Wednesday, and I have trombone lessons with Mr. Bubsey every Wed Morning. I'm working on "Morceau Symphonique" right now to play on my advancement Jury at the end of this semester. In my previous post I talk about the fuzziness i've noticed in my tone lately, beginning at Wind Ensemble auditions. Try as I might, I have been unable to eliminate it until today. I talked about nerves and trying to think too hard and over analyze too much.

As an example, I was asked during my Wind Ensemble audition to play my E flat major scale. Piece of cake. I've been able to play the Eb scale since i was in seventh grade. But then she asked for C natural minor. (those of you involved in music understand that C is the relative minor of Eb, and so the c minor scale is, in essence, the same as Eb, but rather than playing Eb to Eb, you play the same notes but you start and end on C instead.) I knew this, but I thought too much about it. In doing so, I pretty much just made up the Jim Gass minor scale, which included just about every note except those which are supposed to be in the c minor scale. And with each missed note, my sound got progressively smaller and more airy, as my confidence level dropped and dropped. I was thinking too much, and it severely hurt my playing.

I've been thinking and working all week since then to eliminate the fuzzy sound from my tone. I've thought "my teeth are too close together" "the back of my tongue is obstructing my airway" and every other thing known to man. And the whole time i was playing I was thinking about that. I was analyzing my every muscle motion, and was losing confidence.

Now, fast forward to today. Mr Bubsey and I talked about his trombone teacher. His trombone teacher is suffering from some sort of paralysis of the face, not uncommon in brass players. It is obviously affecting his playing. So he went out to the midwest to spend a week with this woman who is some kind of specialist in music and who herself suffers from MS or something. She pointed him to a book "The Inner Game of Music" which apparently talks about the mental aspect of playing. The basic premise, according to Mr Bubsey, is to think about the sound you want to hear, to basically get the "concept" of the music, and then blow, and your brain will eventually figure out what to do to make the sound it wants to hear.

So we talked about that, and he had me play the Lyrical section of Morceau Symphonique before the cadenza. It sounded ok, but not great. I had a bunch of missed notes, and as i played through, it got worse and worse and my sound got smaller and smaller. Thats when he told me about those 2 aspects. 1 BLOW and 2 CONCEPT. I've listened to Christian Lindberg play this piece many times, so the concept is not the problem. I wasn't blowing. And in not blowing, the sound i produced didn't match the concept of the music in my head, and so my confidence level went down. I played it again, with lots and lots of air. Night and Day. It was a completely different sound that came out of my horn. The fuzziness was COMPLETELY gone.

Now, to be fair, I did not play all the right notes. Specifically, at the end of the first long phrase, the piece goes down, and there is a Gb. I played a G natural instead. BUT I didn't stop and think and try to fix it. I played it for its full beat, at full volume, with a full sound, and didn't lose confidence. I finished the phrase very strong. It was, even with the loud nasty wrong note, by far the best I have ever played that section. All because i stopped worrying about the technical aspects of breathing and playing first position for one beat, sharp third position for two beats, etc etc. I played everything except that G more in tune than I ever had before (even the stuff on that damn seventh partial). Actually the G was an in tune G, it was just supposed to be a Gb. So it was all in tune. Just a wrong, but pretty and in tune note hear or there. It was the first time in a very long time that I hadn't been flustered after a wrong note.

So i've learned 2 things today. Number 1, I need to read "The Inner Game of Music: (Barnes and Noble in Johnson City is holding a copy for me that i'll pick up in the morning)

And number 2, I need to do breathing excercises every day, so that the "blowing enough air" aspect of playing is not an issue.

I feel like today was a breakthrough day in my trombone playing.

Grace and Peace

Jim