The Church in the Wildwood

Confessions of a Political nature

2006-10-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

I've been politically "confused" lately. I have always been a pretty staunch conservative, however my faith and my understanding of God have caused me to re-think some of my views.

Capital Punishment: I see it as hypocrisy for Christians to militanlty support Capital Punishment. Yeah, dangerous people should be locked up for ever without parole, but death? What if, during their life, that criminal could have been ministered to by a prison ministry of sorts and converted? By killing that person, we as a society rob them of that potential opportunity for salvation.

Immigration: Who are we to tell people from mexico, or anywhere else for that matter, not to come to "my: country. After all, all that we have comes from God, so it is ultimately His and not ours. I don't believe the men and women in the Virginia Colony, or those who came on the Mayflower, had visas or green cards. Again, hypocrisy. If we have a society that so many people want to be a part of, we ought to welcome them with open arms. If we make it legal, then they'll be paying taxes, and not just a drain on social services.

Welfare: There are a lot of people abusing the system, which is regrettable. When caught, people abusing the system should be punished. However, i feel we have a duty to take care of "the least and the lost.

Gay Marriage: This is where there should be a vast separation between Church and State. The state has no business in a person's bedroom. If two men, or two women, feel they are in love, they ought to be able to live together and reap the same financial benifets of their heterosexual counterparts. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE CHURCH SHOULD BE REQUIRED TO RECOGNIZE OR SUPPORT THESE UNIONS. That is a VERY distinct separation.

School Prayer / Ten Commandments: It is NOT the job of the state, or state schools to teach our children religion. When we gripe about not having prayer in school, and our kids not being taught the ten commandments in school, then we need to insert a word in front of "school." That word? SUNDAY. If our kids aren't learning how to pray, its because their CHURCH is falling down on the job, not the school. Let math teachers teach math, and let preachers teach the ten commandments.

I've been in disbelif over this leftward shift for some time. I've examined carefully how my views on the issues which are important to me stack up against those of my elected officials, and find that I am a "Republican" in name only. I spent the last 2 hours taking "political quizes" and each one called me either a "Liberal" or a "left-leaning centrist."

Strange how these things work out. Well its late, and I need to go to bed. See y'all later.

Grace and Peace,

Jim "Lefty" Gass

How to pass time in the summer

2006-08-09T12:18:00.000-07:00

Well friends, it has been awhile since posting. I've had an eventful summer thus far, as you can tell from reading my blog and megan's. Rather than focusing on the car trouble and drama that has lasted through the summer, today I'd like to focus on a calmer, more peacful thread which has woven itself through these last few months. That would be: Barbecue.

Barbecue is something that I've long had a fascination with, probably because its something I really like to eat. I still remember vividly walking through Dollywood with my grandparents and brother. As we walked under the rail road bridge, there is (or at least was) a barbecue place on our right. They always used to have a pig roasting on a spit, and you could smell the charcoal and hickory smoke long before you could see it.

The choir at Middlerbrook Pike United Methodist Church where I grew up hosts an annual barbecue which I had occasion to help out with some.

As Megan and I were dating, we'd go over to her house and have food that her dad cooked on the grill. It was an eye-opening experience. See, my dad (and I don't mean this to be in any way derrogatory) is, like myself, somewhat impatient. Charcoal was always started using half a gallon of lighter fluid. When gas grills became affordable, charcoal was abandoned altogether. Then I get to our first grill-out at Megan's house and her dad got out this thing.. It was a metal chimney, used to light charcoal without lighter fluid. I fell in love with the taste (burgers that didn't taste like propane or lighter fluid).

Last summer, when Megan and I moved to Greeneville and started living in a house instead of an apartment, one of the first things we bought was a 22 1/2" Weber kettle grill, just like her dad's, and a chimney starter, just like her dad's. We had fun grilling steaks, chicken, pork chops, shish kabobs, fish, etc. But something was missing. Late last summer I went out and bought a 6-pound picnic shoulder and did my best to smoke it on our grill. The results were okay, but i kind of abandoned the idea of smoking meat, in favor of straight up grilling.

Since getting my grill, i've signed up for Weber's recipe of the week. Sometime in May I recieved a recipe for a Carolina Red Pulled Porrk Shoulder. I got excited and decided to try it. It was actually not too shabby. I even made my own sauce (the one in the recipe). That did it. On our way to Annual Conference, we stopped by walmart and bought the cheap CharBroil American Gourmet offset smoker. Upon our return we put it together and i smoked 2 of these Carolina Red shoulders (using Boston Butt instead of Picnic) and we had her old vet and all the employees over for a good-bye party. It was so much better on the offset smoker, as it took 12 hours to cook instead of 5.

About two weks ago I smoked some baby back ribs in a similar manner. Not too bad, but I'll remember next time to pull the membrane off of the inside of htem before cooking. It made them awfully hard to cut and eat.

Tonight comes the next installment of the BBQ-ness. I'm going to do a beer can chicken (on the weber, not the smoker). Will let you all know how it turns out.

Grace and Peace,

Jim

P.S.

I've added some links to some bbq sites that I've frequented lately or that pertain to my new BBQ addiction. I also will probably be writing more about my bbq adventures. If you dont like bbq, or you dont want to keep hearing about bbq, thats fine. Just dont read

Another addition to the family

2006-07-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

Meet Horus:

Horus is a 3 (i think) month old Bengal kitten. He's neat. Amazingly, he and Autumn get along mostly well.

Thank GOD for well-made automobiles (Toyota)

2006-06-22T20:43:00.000-07:00

I was in walmart this afternoon when I got a call from Megan, telling me that she had been in an accident. I left a perfectly good half-filled shopping cart in the middle of a walmart aisle and got in my car to check on her. I asked where she was and she simply told me "you can't miss me." I got on 11-E and drove toward Johnson City, because Megan was dropping off some resumees at some animal clinics in Jonesborough. I crested the hill before the big red flea-market barn and saw a firetruck, an ambulance, and three police cars. I parked my car off of the rode and went to the scene of the crash to check on Megan. Apart from seat belt bruising from driving 65 and then comming to an abrupt stop, she was fine.

Then it was time to see what happened. Someone in a red minivan decided to cross the four lane highway without looking. (Real smart.) Upon crossing said highway, she pulled out in front of Megan, who had just enough time to hit the brakes and try and swerve, so she was able to hit the minivan on the left front wheen instead of the driver's side door. If she had hit the door instead of the wheel, the driver of the minivan would likely have had more to worry about than a broken collarbone. She and the 3 children who were in her van (all the children were fine) had already left for the hospital when I arrived.

So, Megan is fine, the children in the other van were fine, the driver of the van will recover, and the accident was not Megan's fault (according to the police on the scene.. very cut and dry). The other driver has insurance (yay!) and so the next priority is the car.

That picture, taken with my cell phone, doesn't do justice to the damage. Megan tells me that the dash board and steering wheel came in on her a few inches (i don't want to think of the types of injuries she avoided.. i've taken first aid and wilderness medical classes) The picture also doesn't show the oil, coolant, and who knows what else puddled up under the car. The firemen were putting some kitty-litter type substance under the car. Even the damage to the front of the car is worse than that picture shows.

Miracles happen, as evidenced by the fact that nobody was SERIOUSLY injured in this accident. However, I think only the grace of God would keep the insurance companies from declaring our 1991 Toyota Camry "totalled." Why couldn't it have been the van that got totalled? I loved that Camry, especially the gas mileage. Oh well.

Megan will be very sore in the morning and for the next few days. But most of all, I'm grateful that she's here at home sleeping safely in bed. I think i'll go join her.

Grace and Peace,

Jim

I feel special :)

2006-04-15T20:51:00.000-07:00

The following is copied directly from the blog of Bishop James Swanson, resident Bishop of the Holston Annual Conference (read: my boss). The link to his blog can be found in my links section to the right of this post.

*** begin quote ***

Under the Age of 35
The Holston Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church is first among all annual conferences with clergy under the age of 35. We are indebted to the founders of Resurrection and Camp Discovery and to those who have continued to carry on this tradition. If we add to that the growing event for Young Adults, Divine Rhythm, we may continue to lead in this category for years to come. We are leading other annual conferences but our percentage is around 11% and we need to keep pushing to improve that. If we are to lift high the Cross and extend the reach of the Kingdom of God then we need to continue to call forth young women and men into the ministry.

One of the ways churches can help us is by helping young men and women to hear and respond to this call. Parents can be helpful by supporting their children when they express an interest in pursuing a call to ministry. Pastors can be helpful by insisting that youth are included in leadership roles in worship, administration and ministry teams. It is important that we send a clear and loud signal that in Holston young people are wanted, welcome, and will be set free to be used by God.

*** end quote ***

That makes me feel special, that my bishop and my conference understands the value of young people in ministry. It makes me feel even more special because I'm lucky enough to be serving a church that is in line with Bishop Swanson's view of this. I know that unfortunately there are some ( i can think of one in particular) churches in the conference in which the primary qualification for pastor is to have white hair, but i digress.

I hope that more people around my age will answer yes to the call, and not wait until they are ready to retire to go into ministry. Moral of hte story... you don't have to wait until "sometime later" in order to be effective.

Grace and peace

JIM

Thank you sir, may I have another?

2006-02-28T19:23:00.000-08:00

Believe it, folks.

As of last night, I have become a "prospective member" of the Lambda Mu chapter of Kappa Kappa Psi, the national Band Fraternity. I recieved a prospective member pin during a ceremony yesterday, I have a big brother, and I am going through a Member Education process that will last an estimated seven weeks. So go ahead and add another title to my resume: Husband, Pastor, Student, Trombone Teacher, and now Frat Guy. Goats, paddles, etc...let the hazing begin :)

Jim

Beautifully Incorrect Notes

2006-02-15T19:10:00.000-08:00

So today is Wednesday, and I have trombone lessons with Mr. Bubsey every Wed Morning. I'm working on "Morceau Symphonique" right now to play on my advancement Jury at the end of this semester. In my previous post I talk about the fuzziness i've noticed in my tone lately, beginning at Wind Ensemble auditions. Try as I might, I have been unable to eliminate it until today. I talked about nerves and trying to think too hard and over analyze too much.

As an example, I was asked during my Wind Ensemble audition to play my E flat major scale. Piece of cake. I've been able to play the Eb scale since i was in seventh grade. But then she asked for C natural minor. (those of you involved in music understand that C is the relative minor of Eb, and so the c minor scale is, in essence, the same as Eb, but rather than playing Eb to Eb, you play the same notes but you start and end on C instead.) I knew this, but I thought too much about it. In doing so, I pretty much just made up the Jim Gass minor scale, which included just about every note except those which are supposed to be in the c minor scale. And with each missed note, my sound got progressively smaller and more airy, as my confidence level dropped and dropped. I was thinking too much, and it severely hurt my playing.

I've been thinking and working all week since then to eliminate the fuzzy sound from my tone. I've thought "my teeth are too close together" "the back of my tongue is obstructing my airway" and every other thing known to man. And the whole time i was playing I was thinking about that. I was analyzing my every muscle motion, and was losing confidence.

Now, fast forward to today. Mr Bubsey and I talked about his trombone teacher. His trombone teacher is suffering from some sort of paralysis of the face, not uncommon in brass players. It is obviously affecting his playing. So he went out to the midwest to spend a week with this woman who is some kind of specialist in music and who herself suffers from MS or something. She pointed him to a book "The Inner Game of Music" which apparently talks about the mental aspect of playing. The basic premise, according to Mr Bubsey, is to think about the sound you want to hear, to basically get the "concept" of the music, and then blow, and your brain will eventually figure out what to do to make the sound it wants to hear.

So we talked about that, and he had me play the Lyrical section of Morceau Symphonique before the cadenza. It sounded ok, but not great. I had a bunch of missed notes, and as i played through, it got worse and worse and my sound got smaller and smaller. Thats when he told me about those 2 aspects. 1 BLOW and 2 CONCEPT. I've listened to Christian Lindberg play this piece many times, so the concept is not the problem. I wasn't blowing. And in not blowing, the sound i produced didn't match the concept of the music in my head, and so my confidence level went down. I played it again, with lots and lots of air. Night and Day. It was a completely different sound that came out of my horn. The fuzziness was COMPLETELY gone.

Now, to be fair, I did not play all the right notes. Specifically, at the end of the first long phrase, the piece goes down, and there is a Gb. I played a G natural instead. BUT I didn't stop and think and try to fix it. I played it for its full beat, at full volume, with a full sound, and didn't lose confidence. I finished the phrase very strong. It was, even with the loud nasty wrong note, by far the best I have ever played that section. All because i stopped worrying about the technical aspects of breathing and playing first position for one beat, sharp third position for two beats, etc etc. I played everything except that G more in tune than I ever had before (even the stuff on that damn seventh partial). Actually the G was an in tune G, it was just supposed to be a Gb. So it was all in tune. Just a wrong, but pretty and in tune note hear or there. It was the first time in a very long time that I hadn't been flustered after a wrong note.

So i've learned 2 things today. Number 1, I need to read "The Inner Game of Music: (Barnes and Noble in Johnson City is holding a copy for me that i'll pick up in the morning)

And number 2, I need to do breathing excercises every day, so that the "blowing enough air" aspect of playing is not an issue.

I feel like today was a breakthrough day in my trombone playing.

Grace and Peace

Jim

Fuzziness

2006-02-06T14:52:00.000-08:00

Update: Wind Ensemble auditions did in fact occur. Sara, who was playing first in Concert band, moved into the vacant Wind Ensemble spot, and I moved into her place as "principal trombone" in the Concert band. The blessing is that I don't have to re-arrange my weekly schedule around a change in Ensembles.

Problem, (though likely eventual benifet): I learned a lot about opportunities for growth in my playing. First, I am VERY rusty on my scales, (major, natural minor, harmonic minor, and melodic minir) I must make these a daily practicing priority. Second, I need to practice sight reading every day. The sight reading aspect of my audition was abysmal. VERY VERY BAD. Third, Ms Haskil pointed out something to me that I had not noticed before. I have air in my tone. When I play, its like the music comes out accompanied by pure air, creating a leaking or hissing sound when I play. I do not like this. I will talk to Mr. Bubsey in my lesson on Wednesday about this and see what he suggests. What makes me mad is that I did not notice it before, so I don't know if it is a recent development or not. I attributed it to nerves after my audition, but the whole time I've been playing today (about 3 hours) i've noticed it and can't make it stop by trying to support the sound more, by playing louder, by playing softer, or whatever. This is an obstacle to overcome. I don't like my fuzzy sound.

Jim

Your princess is in another castle.

2006-01-30T11:45:00.000-08:00

Call this my "fat majorette" blog if you want...

Wind ensemble auditions are like playing Super Mario Brothers on the old school nintendo. You can work hard and prepare and focus your efforts toward a certain goal, only to find out that what you are in search of simply isn't there. That has happened three times now with Wind Ensemble auditions. During the fall, we as a concert band were told by a certain director of bands that we would ALL have the opportunity to challenge into the Wind Ensemble for the spring Semester. Those auditions, according to said band director, would occur shortly before the end of the fall semester 2005. So I prepared. After all, when I auditioned for the Fall, I had only known for maybe 2 weeks that I would even be picking my trombone up again, after about a four or five year hiatus. I obvoiously would play better after practicing 2 hours a day for a semester.

So the end of Fall 2005 comes, no auditions. I ask the band director when they will be and I am told they'll be the first day that we're back in class for the spring. Postponement number one.

So I practice over the break. A lot. I prepare for that audition. First day of class, it is posted that auditions will be held Monday, January 30 (today.) Postponement number 2.

So today rolls around. All last week we are told in Concert band that in fact, the auditions will be monday. She even set up a time for Mr. Bubsey (trombone teacher) to be in there with us during auditions. That time is 3:00 PM (notice the time of this post. My computer currently says 3:05) She came up to me in the hallway ONE HOUR AGO to tell me she was moving them to an arbitrary "sometime later in the week," and tells me to look for postings on the bulletin board. Postponement number 3.

Note to the kiddies out there: If you plan on being in college band, look at ETSU. and if the "director of bands" hasn't changed since about 2003, DON'T COME HERE, WHATEVER YOU DO!

I dislike being lied to, very much. And there is an individual (read "director of bands") whom I have very little respect for. After all, it is quite difficult to give respect to someone who time and time again shows a complete disregard for your own worth. My entire life schedule should not revolve around one person's inability to make a schedule and stick to it. I have trombone lessons to teach. I have other classes. I have a wife. I have a job.

I am half tempted to just give up and not audition, but today's events have emboldened me. I get the feeling that she doesn't want to audition the trombones, and by God, I will NOT give her that satisfaction.

Just a reminder: This is MY place on the internet to say what I want to say. It is not a literary journal, nor is it meant to be pleasant. If you don't like my griping, then you don't have to read it.

Jim

Sadness

2006-01-24T16:04:00.000-08:00

Every time that I see a scene resembling the following picture I am saddened.

But not for the reason you might think. All over America, churches put up these mock "graveyards" to remember all of the babies murdered at the hands of their mothers and evil doctors through abortion. I saw one such display this evening on my way back down 11-E from Johnson City. It had a sign citing some statistic about beating hearts being stopped every 3 seconds or something, and their church marquee read "God is pro-life."

What makes me sad about this is not so much the statistics about abortion. I'm not a big fan of abortion by any means, though I've also never been in the situation to have to make that decision (certain aspects of my anatomy prevent that.) There are situations in life (especially rape / life of the mother issues) where abortion may very well be a neccesary evil. But i'm not writing today to argue about the issue of abortion itself. As I was told in English 101 at UT, everybody pretty much has their own view on that issue, and its pretty much carved into stone. There really can be very little meaningful debate on the subject.

What I want to talk about it is the role of the church. Why does the church exist? In short, the church exists as a place where sinners like you and me can gather together, learn about a God who loves us despite our sins and out of his love offers us the chance at redemption, and we worship this God. As such all sinners are (or at least ought to be) welcome. In the United Methodist Church, we advertise "Open Hearts, Open Minds, and Open Doors." There's an old hymn that says God accepts us (me) "Just as I am." And in modern contemporary church music, i've sung "Come just as you are."

The fact is that many women today have terminated unwanted pregnancies via abortion. Some of them were married and didn't want kids, but many more were single, maybe even teenagers, who didn't want to deal with the hassle. Many, if not all of these people got into that abortion situation in the first place as a result of living a lifestyle of separation from God. They were "living in sin" we might say. What better candidate for God's Grace is there than someone who is living in sin? All of us who have already accepted Christ and now live (or do our best to, with His help) in relationship with him were all sinners at some point. In fact, we still fall each day. As Paul says, we have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

What message do these mock graveyards and marquees that talk about God being pro-life convey to a woman who has had an abortion? To me, it says "you are not welcome here." THAT is what saddens me. In putting up these displays, the church, which at it best welcomes all sinners into the fold where they may find Grace and healing and forgiveness, is ostracising an entire population of God's children who are likely just as, if not more, in need of that grace than we are.

Judge not, lest ye be judged.. The church is here to offer grace, not to decide who can and can not recieve it. that is God's job, and God's alone. As for me and my church, we will SERVE the Lord; we will NOT try and take his place on the judgement throne. No matter what a person has done, God is always willing to forgive. Moses was a murderer. Paul, when he was still Saul, made a career out of persecuting Christians before he wrote a large portion of the New Testament. Luke tells us the story of a young son who told his father he wished the dad was dead, and took his inheritance, spent it all, and was welcomed back.

It doesn't matter what a person has done in the past, and it doesn't matter what a person's political beliefs are. If a person is seeking a relationship with God, why should the church shun an entire portion of the population with such a divisive and grace-less display?

Grace and Peace

Jim

I was Snape

2006-01-23T18:18:00.000-08:00

So a few weeks ago i took this blog quiz to see which Harry Potter character I am. Of course, i scored as Severus Snape. I had the results up here, but the HTML code was screwy and it made my blog look bad so i took it down. I'm making this post just to say that for the record, I did in fact score as Professor Snape.

Jim

Safe Sanctuaries?

2006-01-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

Some people have no souls. Read on, taken from http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,180351,00.html.

***Begin Quote***

Md. Congregants Robbed at Church
Monday, January 02, 2006

BALTIMORE — A gunman burst into a church service Sunday evening and robbed several members of the congregation, authorities said.

About 50 people were attending the service at Mt. Zion United Methodist Church in Bel Air when a man entered brandishing a handgun, the Harford County Sheriff's Office said. No injuries were reported.

Wearing dark clothing and a ski mask, the thief ordered several children and their father to go up the aisles getting purses and wallets, then put them on a pile on the floor, said the Rev. Craig McLaughlin, who was in the front pew when the gunman barged in from the rear of the church.

He gathered them in a bag and, after ordering congregants to the front of the church, fled with an undetermined amount of cash and valuables, police said.

Several worshippers called police on their cell phones after he fled.

***End Quote***

That really boils my blood. For the past two years, the United Methodist Churches of the Holston Annual Conference (East Tennessee, SW Virginia, and a bit of North Georgia) have all been working very hard on an initiative known as "Safe Sanctuaries." As a part of this initiative, each local church has had to come up with its own Safe Sancutaries Policy dealing with things such as the screening of volunteers who work with children, procedures for when accusations of abuse are made, etc. The goal is to literally create "Safe Sanctuaries." In other words, we want to make our churches places where people of all ages can come and feel safe and not have to worry about being beaten, molested, or otherwise abused. I think that this is a wonderful thing for us to do, and especially in light of problems some other denominations (and unfortunately even some congregations of the United Methodist Church) have had, this is long overdue.

It is becoming very difficult to get people to join our churches. This is not unique to United Methodism, but it is a problem which seems to pervade churches of all types. Having people walk into sunday evening churches at Mt. Zion United Methodist Church is SURELY not going to help matters much. It is a very sad day in this world hen somebody thinks they can commit armed robbery on a church. I hope they catch this man soon and put him in jail for a very very long time, and i hope that wherever he goes to prison, they have a wonderful chaplain and that this robber can find that he does in fact have a soul, deep down there somewhere, and might turn things around in his own life before it is too late.

Grace and Peace

Jim

Take some freaking responsibility for yourself, GEEZ

2005-12-23T21:28:00.000-08:00

London will be getting the olympics in 2012, and at least one of the voters on the olympic comittee is complaining that he may have mistakenly voted for the wrong city, which, if several hypotheticals had occured, could mean the Olympics would have been in Madrid instead.

The guy "thinks" (he's not even sure now) that he may have accidentally voted for Paris instead of Madrid, who he had meant to vote for. In that round of voting, Paris had 33, and Madrid 31. If, in fact, he did vote incorrectly, and if, in fact, he had voted correctly instead, then the 2 cities would have been tied at 32, would have gone into a tie-breaker, and the winner would have gone head to head in a vote against London, who had 39 votes in the round of voting in question. This is the story

Here's my take on it. Why the hell is this such a big hullaballoo? Some idiot couldn't figure out how to vote. It's not London's fault, its not Paris's fault, it's not Madrid's fault, and it's not the International Olympic Comission's fault. It's the idiot who couldn't figure out how to vote's fault. The system couldn't have been THAT difficult, if all of the other 102 voters (39 votes for london, plus 31 votes for madrid, plus 33 votes for Paris = 103, minus the idiot's vote, wherever it ended up = 102) could figure it out. He's one out of a total of 103 voters.They even rehearsed the voting procedure. And he STILL couldn't get it right.

Now, if 30 people had had problems voting, or 50 people, or 10 people, that is a significant portion of the voting population, which would indicate a problem on the part of the voting system. However, 102 out of 103 were able to figure out how to punch the right button on the electronic voting thingy. One was not. That tells me that it is not a problem with the voting system, it is a problem with the voter himself.

Since this is the case, why does the guy go public with this, and it makes it onto the Fox News website? The answer is that we live in a society in this world in which nobody wants to be held accountable for their own actions. Never mind that this guy couldn't listen to instructions. Never mind that even after rehearsing the procedure, he was still is too much of a bumbling idiot to figure out how to use the stupid voting thing. It must be someone else's fault, and so he goes to the International Olympic Commission with this.

And then the idiot Olympoic Comission makes this public, and so now in many people's eyes there will be a question as to the validity of the London Olympics. Fox News doesn't help matters either with their headline "Vote Mistake Gives London 2012 Olympics." What a bunch of Crap. A known vote mistake was not known to give London the Olympics. An idiot that can't remember whether or not he even voted MIGHT have cast an incorrect ballot, in which case Madrid and Paris would have gone head to head, and so Madrid MIGHT have won that vote, leading us to Madrid vs London in the final election, which Madrid MIGHT have won. That is three mights, each of which would have to go in Madrid's favor.

And, let us not forget that London had more votes than either Paris OR Madrid in that infamous third round of voting, which shows that there was more support for London than either City. Even if he did vote for Paris instead of Madrid, the 2 cities would just have tied, which means they had equal support. And if London has more support than Paris, and Paris has the same amount of support as Madrid, then London still has more support than madrid. Remember the word problem from math class. If Sally has more apples than Timmy, and Timmy and Molly each have the same number of apples, then who has more apples, Sally or Molly. London still had more support than Madrid.

So, Fox News ought to be horse-whipped for that yellow-journalism headline. A proper headline would indicate uncertainty, not that his vote did in fact sway things, which the Senior member of the IOC even says there's no way to know.

This idot from Greece (probably) coudn't figure out how to vote, and so someone else may have been able to win, if the wind in china was blowing just right. Big deal. The only lesson learned here is DON'T BE STUPID

Jim

Why is it so hard to update? and Only in East Tennessee, (the unauthorized version)

2005-12-20T10:41:00.001-08:00

Why is it so hard to update this thing lately? Finals are over, i've had a few days to be lazy, and so here is an update, pathetic though it may be. Brooke, I'm sorry but I'm stealing your "only in East Tennessee" thing.

Megan and I were eating at Ryan's in Johnson City about a week ago. For those of you who may not be familiar with Ryan's, its basically a big buffet place. So anyways, I'm getting a plate of food, standing around the fried stuff. Over walks this lady with a salad.. the salad had all of the usual stuff.. lettuce, tomatos, carrots, radishes, ranch dressing, etc. Well, she walks over to the fried okra, and no joke, spoons a bunch of fried okra on top of her salad. Now, I'm not one to dis fried okra, but on a salad? That's kind of like getting a double whopper with cheese meal at burger king, upsizing it, and then drinking a diet coke.. Then again, they do make salads with fried chicken on it, so why not.

There you go. There's my big update.. Fried okra on a salad. whoopeee. I'll try to do something more substantial before Christmas. That may be difficult, as Paige already did the blog about churches not being open on Christmas. What else is there to talk about?

Grace and Peace,

Jim

Our Newest Family Member

2005-11-12T20:52:00.000-08:00

Everyoe, meet Autumn.

Last week, she showed up at our doorstep. We tried to ignore her in the hopes she would simply find someone else to try and beg from. For some reason, she stayed. We asked around this area, and nobody lost a dog. We did learn in asking that there is a large problem with people simply setting dogs loose. We talked and decided to take her to the vet for shots. The vet says she's somewhere aroud 8 to 10 months old, and may be a mix breed with some english poiter in her. She's a sweetheart, but still needs to learn not to chew on everything. I guess such is the life of a puppy.

Grace and Peace

Jim

Thou Shalt Steal Blog Quizes

2005-11-07T19:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, here's how it works...
1) List 20 people that you know, in no particular order.
2) THEN look at the questions. Don't look at the questions first.
3) COPY & REPOST your results

1. Ed M.
2. Rachel H.
3. Megan G.
4. Adam F.
5. Jonathan P.
6. Jon H.
7. John G.
8. Kelly M.
9. Adam H.
10. Brooke R.
11. Joy B.
12. Jake H.
13. Eric D.
14. Jerrod M.
15. Dave B.
16. Michael S.
17. Nathan M.
18. Jamie G.
19. David L.
20. Bob H.

How did you meet 13?
On an Emmaus Walk

What would you do if you never met 5?
I would not have an awesome friend, and I might have been the one to lock my knees and be known forever as Thunk

What do you honestly think of 10?
What do I think of Brooke.... I think she needs to lay off the Pepperoni and Crack Pizza.

Would or did 19 and 8 go out?
19 is married. 8 is dating one of 19's employees. I would say that is one of the least likely matchups here.

Have you ever liked 9?
I like him right now.. he has good taste in beverages.

If 1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know?
I've been listening to him playing "this is my father's world" because A. it sounds awesome, and B. so that I'll have the sound I want in my mind when I play vibrato.

Would 2 and 11 make a good couple?
Hm. They don't know each other (Rachel = band, Joy = camp.) Plus, um, they're both girls. No.

Who is 16 going out with?
I don't believe the snowman is going out with anybody.

Describe 7 in 3 words:
Big Lumberjack Beard

Do you think 12 is hot?
Sorry jake, no.

Would 1 and 17 make a lovely couple?
Ed and the pastor who married me would not make a good couple.

What language does 19 speak?
English, though my understanding is that he has the "holy ghost" (speaking in tongues)

Who is 8 going out with?
8 is going out with 9, who works for 19

Is 20 a boy or a girl?
If you've ever hiked with Bob, you know that he is a MAN.

Would 18 and 4 make a good couple?
No. 18 is married and has a daughter.

What grade is 17 in?
17 has his Masters of Divinity from Candler School of Theology

When was the last time you talked to 12?
A couple years ago.. saw him at a red light in KnoxVegas.

What is 6's favorite band?
Based on my last conversation with him, I'd have to say John Cage (hahaha)

Does 1 have any siblings?
He has a sister

Would you ever date 3?
If I was in the right mood I might consider it.

Would you ever date 7?
He's my brother. That's just wrong

Is 15 single?
Nope. He has a daughter and is married.

Have you ever taken advantage of 11 while he or she was passed out?
That's a big ol' negative there, Ghost Rider

If 13 and 6 were forced to fight to the death, who would you put money on?
Eric could take Jon in a heartbeat.

Who will age better 2 or 5?
Women age better than men, so Rachel (2)

If you could see one person on this list naked, who would it be?
Being a minister I should not answer 10 to that question.

When you are shit-faced drunk, who would you NOT want taking you home?
Rachel, you'll be proud of me, based on your comments regarding Joy's questionnaire. I'm going to have to answer number 14, simply because number 14 is the only person listed who did not have a question direectly asked about them, and I don't want him to feel left out.

Jim

Islam: Religion of Peace?

2005-11-03T17:59:00.000-08:00

Read this first:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4405620.stm

Islamic youth in Paris are burning cars and shooting at police. These riots are in their eigth day. And Islamic leaders are asking officials to "Show Respect." Show respect for what? A bunch of thugs who are burning other people's property? These riots are in their eighth day, and yesterday is the first I saw of it in the American media. (Fox News) Scooter Libby gets indicted, it makes front page headlines. Americans find out on the 6:00 evening news that the former head of FEMA referred to himself as a "Fashion God." Democrats don't like Bush's supreme court nominee and its breaking news. However, when members of the "religion of peace" show themselves for what they are, it gets buried with the obituaries. And you want to talk about mishandling of the Katrina situation? How have French officials handled this? Pathetic.

These youths in france that are rioting in the streets and torching people's cars are members of the same religion as Osama Bin Laden. A group of muslim men in Indonesia ambushed a couple of Christian teenage girls on their way to school and slaughtered them. It was muslims who were beheading American journalists and civilian contracters in Iraq. All this to the glory of Allah.

And if France's opposition to the war in Iraq was supposed to appease the muslim community, well, good job (he says sarcastically). Pacifism is not a viable diplomatic tool against an enemy driven by sheer hate - all it does is show weakness in the eyes of the enemy (just ask Spain.)

We are expected to be "tolerant," even when the ones we are "tolerating" are "intolerant" of anybody who is not exactly like them. This fact shows that the "religion of peace" is in fact the religon of tyranny. God help us all if this group of people ever take over the world, as is their intent.

Jim

Gamecocks: the new Gators

2005-10-29T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well, "The Old Ball Coach" has come back to Neyland Stadium with a roar. Why is it that he gets under our skin so much? Would we have lost this game had Lou Holtz still been coacing at South Carolina? Why does our offense do stupid things? Oh well. I have to preach in the morning, and gettting riled up about this is not going to make me sleep any better.

The good news: Basketball season is coming, so maybe I'll have some sport to be happy about.

GO BUCS!

Wishing you Grace and Peace (for tonight I have neither)

Jim

Betty Crocker is a Fraud, and Squares are for Squares.

2005-10-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is true. Betty Crocker is completely full of it. Why, you are no doubt asking yourself, is but a humble country preacher questioning the authority and integrity of one of America's most loved heroines of the kitchen? The answer is simple: it all boils down to cornbread. Historically speaking, cornbread is to the southern United States what rice is to China.

Along with pinto beans, cornbread also happens to be one of my favorite foods. Has been ever since I was a young child and my grandparents would take my younger brother and me to Dollywood two or three times a month during the summers. While there, we'd always eat at a place called "Granny Ogle's Ham N' Beans." They served the best damn beans and cornbread around.And while there are as many different ways to cook cornbread as there are hollers in the hills (yes I said hollers, not hollows), there are some basic principles of sotuhern cornbread that must never be violated. Take for example exhibit A (see picture below)

This cornbread, though it may look "pretty" to the untrained eye, is a disgrace. To any good southerner the problem is obvious: the corbread pictured above was most likely cooked in something resembling this:

And this is where my title comes from, that Betty Crocker is a Fraud. This afternoon I looked in a copy of the Betty Crocker Cookbook Recipe Sampler [September 2005 edition, page 87, found under the heading "Fall Baking." ] and found a recipe for "Southern Buttermilk Corn Bread." I decided that this would be great, because surely Betty Crocker, the American Cooking Icon, would know how to do cormbread up just right. Alas, no. The picture on the page facing the actual recipe very closely resembled the horrible photograph of cormbread shown earlier in this post. Direction number one (1) served to further expose the years of Kitchen Fraud imposed by Betty Crocker. "Heat oven to 450 F. Grease bottom and side of 9-inch round pan, 8-inch square pan, or 10-inch ovenproof skillet with shortening or spray with cooking spray."

In order to cook so-called "Southern" corn bread, Betty Crocker gives the reader the option of using a round pan, a squre pan, or an ovenproof skillet. I'm sorry, Mrs. Crocker, but this preacher says that you are plain wrong. I don't know how you people cook cornbread in Michigan, or wherever you are from, but down here below the Mason-Dixon line, the ONLY option is to use cast iron. (see below)

This is an example of properly seasoned cast-iron skillets. These may be aquired many ways. Often they can be found at church rummage sales or flea markets. Check eBay, they have everything else there. Your mother or grandmother may have one laying around. Good luck prying it out of her hands, though. If a good skillet that has already been loved for many years is not available, Wal-Mart sells new cast iron. You have to season it yourself, but that is not terribly difficult. And when you cook cornbread in your new (used) skillet, it will look something like this:

Notice the difference. Cornbread is supposed to come out of the skillet (not pan, not dish, but skillet) in wedges, not squares. As the other half of my title indicates, only squares eat square cornbread. Real cornbread is wedge-shaped.

[Trivia: what was the name of Luke Skywalker's wingman during the final approach on the Death Star's thermal exhaust port? I'll give you a hint: it was not SQUARE Antilles. That's right WEDGE Antilles. This fact serves as further evidence that in all things, wedges are better than squares.]

*Exception: Some people prefer corn-shaped sticks or corn muffins. These are acceptable forms of cornbread. Corn-shaped sticks are made using cast iron, so that's fine (again, see below)

Corn muffins, though often neccesary, (especially for large gatherings or restaraunt-style events) should also be cooked in cast iron whenever possible. Lodge does make an iron muffin pan with which to do this, therefore providing easy individual servings while still preserving the integrity of the cornbread.

I have no doubt that when we all die and go to heaven, we will find God eating southern food. With his southern food, he will often be eating cornbread. I also guarantee you this: you will NOT see God sitting on his front porch swing eating SQUARES of cornbread. He will be eating wedges that have a nice, dark, crispy crust on the bottom to serve as evidence of being cooked in a thousand year old iron skillet. If you get to your eternal resting place and find cornbread squares, then you passed away with sins yet unforgiven.

So, my loyal readers, (yes, im talking to both of you) don't be lured in by the lies of Betty Crocker. Whatever ingredients you want to include in your cornbread recipe, be sure that you have the proper tools (a well-seasoned cast iron skillet is the proper tool). When you apply this knowledge, you not only set yourself apart from the masses of the "great unwashed" who still follow the antiquated teachings of one yankee "Betty Crocker," but you also have some damn good cornbread to eat with your beans."

Grace and Peace,

Jim

P.S.. Bacon is a breakfast food. Don't use it to season your beans, it doesn't work. Thats what ham hocks are for.

Sabbath Experience

2005-10-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

Preachers don't take enough time off. In an effort to save time and space, I won't cite studies and statistics here, but just trust me. Because of this, the Holston Conference offered "Clergy Sabbath Experiences" this past weekend for pastors to take advantage of. Megan and I skipped church and participated in the experience offered at Camp Wesley Woods in Townsend. (seriously, where else WOULD we go?) It was a wonderful, much needed experience. Saturday, Megan and I hiked the Blueberry trail at camp, and on Sunday Morning we drove the loop ad Cades Cove. Rather than going into a lot of detail and not doing it justice, I'll upload some pictures.

Megan enjoying a view, as I took a picture of an even better view :)

Looking down into Wesley Woods from the top of the Blueberry Trail

We went a little ways off of the trail, and found some "leftovers" from the folks who occupied the valley before Camp.

Looking up the valley toward the camp waterfall. There's something about this one that makes me think of a forest that might be near the Shire.

Peaceful

Now we move into Cades Cove

We may have skipped church in Greeneville, but that doesn't mean that I restrained myself. (Don't tell the Bishop... that's at the Missionary Baptist church at Cades Cove)

Interesting fact: The room I'm standing in front of is beside the porch of this house. It's called a Parson's Room. Back in the day, the preacher (circuit rider) would ride in on horse and stay a week or two. One of the more prominent families would have an additional room built onto the house for the preacher to stay in while he was in. This room was usually only used maybe quarterly by the circuit rider.

The obligatory "deer" picture from Cades Cove

I couldn't let it end with the damn deer, so here's a picture of a tree behind the house with the parson's room. By the way, my wife takes MAGNIFICENT photographs.

Grace and Peace,

Jim

Another Stolen Blog Questionnaire

2005-10-10T18:29:00.000-07:00

1. First grade teacher's name: Barbara Craig

2. Last person you kissed: Megan... who else?

3. Last word you said: coke

4. Last song you sang: I have no idea. probably sang along with my car stero on the way home from classes today.

5. Last person you hugged: Megan

6. Last thing you laughed at: a Geico commercial I think

7. What's in your CD player: Stravinsky - Rite of Spring

8. Who is your favorite star/s: Brad Pitt?

9. What socks are you wearing: Sexy (ha!) black dress socks

10. What's under your bed: dirty clothes

11. Current status: Married

12. Current taste: Steak

13.Current Hairstyle: short

14. Current clothes: khakis and a white golf shirt

15. Current Hate: French 2020 at ETSU

16. Current longing: To become a better trombone player so that I can get out of the concert band and into Wind Ensemble next semester.

17. Current desktop picture: Edward's T 350 trombone (I'm a dork)

18. Current worry: That i'll have to listen to more BS about Ludacris at class tomorow

19. Current Love: Megan

20. Story behind your username: jimgass: my first name is Jim, last name is Gass. how creative

21. Current favorite article of clothing: my navy blue sweater vest

22.a. Favorite physical feature(s) on yourself: no clue
22.b. on opposite sex: Eyes

23. Last CD that you bought: Frank Sinatra - Duets II

24. Favorite place to be: In bed after church on a Sunday afternoon

25. Least favorite place: in the kitchen doing dishes.

26. Time you wake up in the morning: sometime between 6:00 and 7:00

27. If you could play a new instrument, what would it be? Does Alto trombone count?

29. Current favorite word/saying: "Why are we playing 'Titanic' in concert band?"

30. Favorite book: Cost of Discipleship, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

31. Favorite Movies: Anything that begins with the words "Star Wars"

34. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Bill Kessler, the youth director at Middlebrook Pike United Methodist Church. Bill passed away when I was 16.

35. Favorite day: Sunday

36. Where do you want to go: I'd like to go visit the church in Epworth, England where John Wesley got his start. On that trip, I'd visit Aldersgate street, where Wesley's heart was "strangely warmed."

37. What is your career going to be: Ministry

38. Who is your best friend/s: Megan

39. What kind of car do you have: White 1996 Ford Windstar (also known as "Shuttle Tiderian"

40. A random lyric: "I know who made the moonshine too, back where I come from"

41. Eye Color: green

42. Hair Color: Dark Blond

43. Righty or Lefty: Righty

45. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

46.Innie or Outtie: Innie

DESCRIBE...

47. Your heritage: Mutt, but mostly from Ireland and the United Kingdom.

48. The shoes you wore today: Brown leather casual shoes by Ecco.

49. Your hair: short

50. Your weakness: any excuse not to study.

51. Your fears: getting yelled at in band for sucking

52. Your most recent secret?: I know who killed J.R.

54. Your thoughts first waking up: "how much longer can I lay here and still get to Johnson City in time for class?"

55. The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: eyes

56. Your bedtime: 11:30

57. Your most missed companion: Tipper, the Rat Terrier mom and dad had to put to sleep the day of the 1998 SEC Championship game. They told me when I called after the game from the Hotel in Atlanta.

58. Your perfect pizza: Deep dish Pepperoni and mushroom

59. Sweet and Chewy or Salty and Crunchy: depends

60. Single or group dates: dates that don't involve wal-mart

61. Dogs or Cats: Dogs... cats are evil

62. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Chick-fil-A Sweet tea

63. Chocolate or vanilla: Definitely Chocolate

64. Cappuccino or coffee?: BLACK coffee

65. Smoke: no, except for the occasional cigar after Tennessee wins

66. Curse: when Tennessee does not win

67. Sing: yes, whenever I can (as long as nobody is around)

68. Take a shower everyday: pretty much

69. Have a crush: yes. I've been married to her for just over 2 years.

71. Think you've been in love: I know so

72. Want to go to college: It's been seven years and I'm still in college.

73. Want more than what you got: I want more education than what I have, so I can be a decent trombone player and a more effective pastor.

74. Want to get married: It would be nice someday. oh wait. YES I AM ALREADY MARRIED!

75.Type with your fingers in the right place: What other way is there to type? I'm all about the 'home row'

76. Think you're attractive: I have no idea. I used to think so, but then I see these thugs that all the girls seem to be attracted to. I don't look like them, so I must not be attractive.

77. Think you're a health freak: Let me see.. I love fried chicken, I had steak for supper, and I just ate a hand full of bacon bits. Oh yeah, big health nut here!

78. Get along with your parents: Yes

79. Play an instrument: Trombone - after leaving it in the closet for 3 years, I'm a trombone minor now. WHADDA YA THINK OF THAT, DON HOUGH??????

80. drink: rarely

82. Done a drug: Excedrin when I have a headache count?

83. Made Out: See statements regarding my marital status.

84. Go on a date: yes, but these days they usually involve grocery shopping at Wal-mart in Greeneville.

85. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I've eaten as much as half in one sitting.

86. Eaten sushi: yes, as often as I can (which isn't very often in Greene County, and I don't know the good places to get it in Johnson City)

87. Been dumped: yes

88. Made homemade cookies: yes

89. Caused a fire: built campfires every week when I worked at Camp Wesley Woods

90. Gone skinny dipping: Almost every time I take a shower. otherwise, no.

91. Dyed your hair: I dyed my hair neon green once in high school... temporary dye... the church basketball team did that for our first game in the finals my junior year.

92. Stolen anything: i stole a bouncy ball from walgreen's at west town mall when i was about 6. It was on the floor and so I thought that somebody had just dropped it and thus it was fair game. My grandmother made me take it back and tell the cashier what I did. Never again.

HAVE YOU EVER..

93. Had too much to drink: yes

94. Been caught cheating: no

95. Been called a tease: nope

96. Gotten beaten up: yeah

97. Changed who you were to fit in: yes

98. Cried at something beautiful: yes

99. Spent too much money on something you didnt need?: I can think of many items

100. Cried when someone died?: no, I'm a heartless SOB. OF COURSE I have.

Stay tuned kiddies, you never know whose questionnaire I'm gonna steal next!

Grace and Peace,

Jim

To assume is Ludacris

2005-10-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

Background:

This past spring at ETSU, the SGA raised the student activities fee from $4 to $20. The purpose of this was to be able to pay a big-name musician to come perform a concert at homecoming in leu of a football game. (ETSU does not have a football team.)

During exam week, a poll was emailed to students seeking input as to what act students would like to see. In typical University SGA fashion, out of about 11,000 students, approximately 400 responded. A list was compiled and the SGA started at number 1 and went down the list until they found somebody who was not already booked and who would be willing to come play a college gig. That led them to number 17, Ludacris, who agreed. (and who recieved 40 votes on the initial survey)

All semester since I joined the ETSU community there has been heated debate on campus about the appropriateness of Ludacris as the headline act for homecoming. He's not my style, but I decided that if 40 of my classmates want to go see him, they can be my guest.

Which brings me to this week:

The Ludacris concert has been cancelled. This is due to lack of venue. The SGA looked into having the concert on the intramural fields and in the mini-dome. Everclear came to the Intramural fields last year and apparently there were problems with that which make that venue not possible. The fire marshall said no to the mini-dome. So, the SGA decided to use Freedom Hall in Johnson City. They then formally announced the concert to the student population, causing great anticipation in some, great anger in others, and much publicity between the two sides.

Now, the City Manager has denied the SGA's request to use Freedom Hall, citiing safety reasons and previous riots associated with Ludacris. And the SGA is furious because, as they claim, the city backtracked on a deal in an act of "censorship."

To talk to most members of the SGA, the evil city government of Johnson City is at fault, because they don't care about the students of ETSU. Here's something to think about though. The Ludacris concert was "scheduled" for October 27. The city manager denied the request to use Freedom Hall THIS WEEK!! He did not revoke a request that had already been approved, he denied a first-time request. It is the first week of October.

The SGA knew in May that Ludacris was coming, they announced a date and time, yet they NEVER had contract for a concert venue. If the city manager was going to deny this request, why did this not happen in June? Beause the SGA Assumed that they would be able to use freedom hall, and as such drug their feet in actually securing the venue. As a result, there is no concert because there's no place to have it.

If the SGA had been on the ball, the concert may still have been denied, but they would have had time to find someone else. Instead, they announced that Ludacris would come before they had everything put together. Now, they are trying to find someone, anyone, other than themselves to blame. I am not stupid though, I can see who is to blame. The members of the ETSU Student Government, specifically the Homecoming Committee, are personally responsible.

Rather than wasting the time of the city council (of whose meeting I attended this evening: I'll blog about that tomorow) to blame them, why not blame your own school for not having a facility adequate for such an endeavor, which is the reason you had to look at an off-campus location in the first place. Or even more appropriate, they should blame themselves for acting irresponsibly. The fact that they are looking everywhere except the mirror for someone to blame, even though it is clearly a problem of their own doing, calls into question the integrity of the members of SGA.

The fact is, they are the ones who announced the concert without having everything in place. They assumed, and as a former boss of mine used to tell me, when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME. And THAT, my friends, is Ludacris.

Grace and Peace,

Jim

Ripped off music survery

2005-10-03T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ed: You stole this, so you can't get on to me for stealing it from you. After all, I am a preacher and us preachers are known for "borrowing" ideas from others. Consideer yourself "borrowed from."

Musical Me.

1. Name: Jim (I don't have anything cool like "Jimuardo")
2. Instrument you play/part you sing: I play trombone; I sing baritone (or barely-tone, as the choir director at my home church says.)
3. Other instruments/doubles: N/A
4. When did you get started in music: Sixth grade band at Bearden Middle School.
5. Treble or bass clef: Bass. Treble cleff is for weenies.
6. Do you conduct? I used to be able to conduct a marching band. Now I can only try to conduct myself in a manner fitting a methodist pastor.
7. Do you have a music job? What? Not at the moment. I doubled as song leader at the last church I served.
8. Are you happy with it? I was not happy with that situation at all. Those of you that ever attended worship at that church will agree that it had everything to do with the "keyboard instruments"
9. Biggest challenge with your job? Trying to sing "How Great Thou Art" and "In the Garden" at 30 bpm with an organ and piano that never were together.
10. Proudest musical moment: Playing "Rocky Top" in Tempe after beating Florida State 23-16 for the National Championship on Jan 4, 1999.
11. Most embarrassing musical moment: When Ms. Haskil passed out "Music from the original motion picture 'Titanic'" In concert band a few weeks ago.
12. Funniest moment: Mr. Powell accusing the White Pep Band trombones of eating "Pepperoni and Crack Pizza."
13. Favorite music? Anything for the trombone. Most stuff that is not rap or hip-hop. I enjoy music from the Baroque period.
14. Favorite performers? UTK Trombone Choir. Pride of the Southland Band under the direction of Jay Romines.
15. Do you compose? I compose a sermon every week.
16. Newest music endeavor? Deciding to minor in trombone at ETSU after having not touched my horn for three years.
17. Was it successful?I'm practicing and earning A's for my lessons. I'd call that success so far.
18. What's in your cd player? A CD of songs downloaded from iTunes, all having something to do with Tennessee: Tennessee Waltz, Wabash Cannonball, Chatanooga Choo-Choo, Night Train to Memphis, Rocky Top, Thunder Road, Tennessee River, On the Road Again, Walking in Memphis.
19. Any musical friends? Yes. However, I'll not list them here for fear of leaving someone off and thereby offending said party.
20. Favorite music type movie: Haven't seen Amadeus. John Williams scored movies don't count because they aren't about music. Same with LOTR... hmm.. Mr. Holland's Opus is about music. I'll go with that, because its the only one I've seen that I can think of.

I love my VOLS

2005-09-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

I never learn. I have this bad habit of writing the football team off too early in the games. With any other team, being down 21-0 at halftime is a sure bet for a loss. However, this is not any other team. I'm talking about the Tennessee Volunteers. And if you are a VOL fan, you know that it isn't football unless you are sure at some point during the game that you are having a coronary. Want proof? Florida '98. Arkansas '98. The Alabama game that went to 6 overtimes. The Arkansas game that went to six overtimes. And now, LSU 2005. Who else could forget to show up for the first half of the game, and then hold No. 3 ranked LSU to a field goal in overtime, and then answer with a touchdown to win the game? All this not at home, but in an extremely hostile and emotionally-charged Baton Rouge environment, after flying down ON game day? The answer: The Tennessee Volunteers. And so, in honor of this gut-wrenching, heart-stopping, tear-jerking victory, let us stand and sing together:

Here's to old Tennessee
Never we'll sever
We'll pledge our loyalty
Forever and ever
Backing our football team
Faltering never
Cheer and fight with all of your might
For Tennessee

And now, it's late, I have class in the morning, I'm tired, and my pulse is slowly becoming normal again. I'm going to bed.

Grace and Peace

Jim

A Healthy Church

2005-09-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

The church that I am serving, though just over half the size of the church I served previously, is considerably more healthy. There are children active in the church, that are of varying ages. We are lacking in the older middle school and high school age groups, but we have about nine children between the ages of 2 and 12 who come on a regular basis. The church also ALWAYS pays 100% of its Fair Share askings from the conference. For the last 20 years, my former church was having a good year if they paid 10%. They blamed it on their being a small church, but as I said before, the church I am pastor of now is half their size, and they pay 100 percent every year. it doesn't have to do with size, its about church health. The church I'm at now is healthy, the one I was at is not.
There is also much more of a team or family atmosphere. People know what their jobs are and do them. We have very few church offices that are simply names on paper. Another indicator of the church's health is the fact that programs occuring at the church are not dependant on the pastor (me). In other words, I don't have to plan their regular activities in order for them to occur. This coming saturday is the church's annual Lord's Acre sale. The supper buffet opens I think at 6, and there is an auction following. It's a huge annual event that people in the community look forward to. Know what I've done to plan it? Not a thing. Is it going to happen this year? Of course.
I was driving home from class this evening and saw a sign on the road advertising the Lord's Acre sale at Wesley's Chapel this coming Saturday. I drove a little bit further and saw another sign posted for the same purpose. The thing which pleases me most about these signs is that I had nothing to do with them. The fact that the Lord's acre sale is advertised means that somebody within the church had the initiative to go ahead and do it. They didn't ask me to do it, they didn't let it not be advertised and then ask me after the fact why nobody showed up. They simply saw a need and did something about it. Not to belittle my last church, but hardly anything thing happened in the two years that I served the church that I did not either do myself or delegate someone else to do, having to give explicit instructions.
A church simply cannot survive if they rely on the pastor to do everything, especially in a denomination like the United Methodist Church where pastors move around every few year. Pastors are simply too different from one another. We don't all do things the same, we don't always see eye to eye, and we don't all view the same programs in a church as important. A church's identity needs to be tied to the church's own history and the people within the church, not to the current (or worse, a former ) pastor. People need to say about a church, "That's Wesley's Chapel United Methodist Church," or "That's Christ United Methodist Church," or "That's Mt. Pleasant Cumberland Presbyterian Church." People's inital response when a church is mentioned should NEVER be "oh, that's Jim Gass's church," " that's Tim Bracken's church," or "that's so and so's church."
A church's identity is the church, not the pastor. And the church I serve is healthy because whether or not I write a decent sermon, spill the communion elements, or even get out of bed on Sunday morning, they are still Wesley's Chapel United Methodist Church. That fact makes my job much easier, as it makes it so that I can concern myself with serving the Lord and empowering the people of the church, rather than being the janitor, secretary, chairperson of all the committees (no joke, since nobody knew their jobs, I was put in the position of being de facto chair of all committees at my first church), advertising liason, song leader.... you get the picture. Thank God a wonderful bunch of farm people whom I love dearly, and whose love for each other and for the Lord make for a healthy church.

Grace and Peace

Jim

Imodium A/D and the Pink Panther

2005-09-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

Well, if you ever actually read this blog, you will notice that I have not updated in an ungodly amount of time. I got kind of sick over Labor Day weekend, and it really took the energy out of me for awhile. Without getting in to too much detail, If any of you bought stock before Labor Day in the company that makes Imodium A/D, you'll never have to work again. With my loss of energy, combined with the diet my doctor put me on (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast,) went the desire to blog. Now I finally have my appetite back, can eat solid food again, and apparently a person's desire to blog is directly proportional to the amount of unhealthy food they consume. I had lots of good(should I really say good?) stadium food at Greeneville High tonight, and mysteriously enough I have a desire to blog tonight. Therefore, the blogging desire is directly tied to how much pizza and chili one eats. Hey, it's logical to me, so get over it. 't worry. Tonight's edition of "The Church in the Wildwood" is not goingDon to be deep, theological, philosophical, or even remotely spiritual. I simply want to pose a logical question about a song, specifically the theme to "The Pink Panther."

This theme song was originally done in a "swing" style, whereby two eighth notes written beside each other are played like a set of triplets with the first two notes tied together and the third played independently. If you've ever seen the old cartoons (I would hope all of you have) then you know what I'm talking about. It always had a mysterious, detective, 'somebody's hiding in the bushes' kind of quality to it. Now fast forward many years. The movie "Charlie's Angels 2 - Full Throttle" has a scene where this same theme song is played in a dance club setting. The primary difference that I noted between the two versions of the song, was that rather than being swung, the song in the movie was played straight. To relate to my previous example, a pair of eighth notes was played exactly that way, both notes having an equal value. Played this way, as those of you who have seen "Charlie's Angels 2" know, the song is sexy.

My logical question is this: Why is it that by swinging a song it sounds mysterious and "detective-y", but by playing it straight it sounds sexy. The idea does not make sense to me. I would think something swung would have more swagger, and thus be more sexy, you know? Any explanation of this would be appreciated, because I'm at a logical impasse on this matter.

Grace and Peace,

Jim

The Ministry of Fried Chicken

2005-08-28T15:37:00.000-07:00

So, we had lunch at the farm home of a church family after worship today. The wife made fried chicken. MAN was it good. I pigged out. After lunch I was sitting on the porch with the husband, and one of their roosters came strutting by. I looked at it and commented to him, "H.R., that rooster sure looks awfully proud, strutting around like that." To which he replied to me, "Well, Pastor Jim, he should be, his son just went into the ministry today."

Grace and peace

Jim

SEC Fight Songs

2005-08-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

As I am no longer attending a college within the SEC, I decided to write objectively about fight songs. Having played in the UT band, I played almost all of these, and was made aware that some of them are very good, and some of them are very bad. Here is my top 12 list of SEC school fight songs.

1. Yea Alabama (Alabama)

This is just a quality fight song any way you look at it. The use of the Elephant is just fun.

2, Hey Fightin' Tigers (LSU)

Something about it, I don't know what, but I feel pride for LSU when I hear it, and I don't even like the team.

3. Down the Field (Tennessee)

You didn't really expect me to put this any lower, did you, GO VOLS!

4. Orange and Blue (Florida)

The first fight song I ever played in Neyland Stadium. I could almost do the gator chomp with my hands. I don't really like it, but it is somewhat intimidating to hear. However, now that "the old ball coach" has been gone a few years, its lost a little bit of its lustre.

5. War Eagle (Auburn)

I like this one because of the story behind the 'war eagle.' According to legend, Auburn was getting their butts kicked late in a game, possibly against 'bama or another rival, when an eagle came and perched on the stadium. Auburn went on to win the game. I have a soft spot for tradition and legend in college football, and this one has it.

6. The Fighting Gamecocks Lead the Way [Step to the Rear] (South Carolina)

This one may gain some intimidation factor over the next few years (see above comments regarding "the old ball coach")

7. On, On, U of K (Kentucky)

Sounds like a merry-go-round, and ends in "for its one, two, three strikes your out at the old ball game." Maybe if Kentucky knew that they were playing football instead of baseball they'd win some games.

8. Forward Rebels (Mississippi)

This is the one fight song I never played in my three years at Tennessee. Not a bad tune from what I heard. I don't know it well enough to rank it any higher, however, I couldn't put it any lower because I had other songs in mind for that "honor"

9. Glory (Georgia)

Come on, guys. Learn a new song. I know you have another fight song, why don't you play it? Glory Glory to old Georgia the times and then you spell G-E-O-R-G-I-A. Well, at least spelling isn't just for upperclassmen in Athens.

10. The Razorback Fight Song (Arkansas)

You're a Division I school. At least think of a name for the song that doesn't include the words "FIght Song." I played "The Bearden Fight Song" in high school. Oh, and you end with "I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee. Won't my momma be so proud of me." Maybe your momma would be more prooud of you if you were bringing home an SEC Championship Trophy. Then again, it is Arkansas. Maybe a bumblebee is a good start.

11. Dynamite (Vanderbilt)

This might be a decent fight song at face value, but it got a very low rank because it lies. it begins "Dynamite, Dynamite, when Vandy starts to fight." When does Vandy fight? Maybe when vandy starts to fight, it will move up. Until then, I don't like liars, so it gets slot number 11.

12. Hail State (Mississippi State)

All I can think of when I hear this is the 1998 SEC championship game. First four notes... Our Pre-Game Sucks! Besides, throughout the whole game, all the band played were those four notes. Over and over again.. our pre game sucks! Last Place.

That is my perspective. If you disagree, leave a comment and tell me how you would correct it, or make your own list on your blog and explain yourself as I have.

Until then,

JIm

Sharpening my Axe

2005-08-12T18:10:00.000-07:00

I said it on my old xanga blog, but I'll say it here. This blog is about the stuff that's going on in my life. If that does not interest you, and you still waste your time here, then its your own fault. I am not responsible for your wasted time reading my endless ramblings about meaningless things. That being said, those of you who have not turned to more interesting websites may proceed.

I finally had orientation and was able to register for fall classes at ETSU today. In doing do, I found out a startling piece of information: The English Department requires all English majors to declare a minor. Hmm. That adds about 28 hours to what I THOUGHT I needed to graduate. Depressing. That is, until my advisor said "you know, you do have a lot of music classes here on your transcript." Therefore, pending a talk with the Music Department Chair about how things transferred from UT to ETSU, my major is now music. This is scary for a number of reasons. First, I will need to take private lessons. I do okay with this, I just hope that I'll have the discipline to actually practice. Second, it adds more hours needed before I can graduate. There's a Music Theory class I have to re-take, and I have 4 hours of "music elective non-ensemble" that I have to take (The requirement is six, but I have the Percussion Methods class taught by F. Michael Combs covering 2 of those hours... thus the remainder is 4) Also, I have to have either Music History 1 or Intro to music (Whichever one my Music History class at UT does not count for) Then there are ensembles. i'm fine there, but I see no reason to take lessons if I'm not going to play, so I'll at least do Wind Ensemble and Bone Choir. That's really not too much. I already have one Theory class with an acceptable grade, I have both semesters of first-year Aural Skills (that's ear training for all you UTK people.) I have either music appreciation or music history, so i only have to take one of those two classes. All in all, I think i can do it. And as long as i can find two 2 hour classes to fulfill my music electives, (probably Theory 3 and another music history class) I'll be able to add everything in to my existing semesters, so I won't have to stay longer. Bottom line, I can still (FINALLY!) have a bachelor's degree by December of next year. Then SEMINARY! (which is my ultimate goal right now) Until next time ladies and gentlemen,

Grace and Peace

Jim

P.S.

Be Sure to Drink your Ovaltine.

Cherry Tomatoes

2005-08-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

Since Megan and I have moved to Greeneville and finally are living in a house instead of an apartment, we were able to plant a small garden this year. One of the items we planted was the little cherry tomatoes. Over the past four or five years I've finally started to enjoy tomatoes, but this past week our little cherry tomatoes have started to ripen. My appreciation for this little red vegetable (or fruit or whatever the heck it is) has increased tenfold. You see, there are few things in this world that match picking one of these things off of the vine and eating it while it is still warm from the sun. Isn't God good, to create for us such wonderful things? Anyways, as a result of their goodness, I'm addicted. I'm gonna go back out to the garden and see if i can find more.

Grace and Peace

Jim

Bad fast food luck

2005-08-04T20:11:00.000-07:00

I have bad luck with fast food. I dont know what it is, but it usually is not a good experience.. service, beng charged the right amount, food quality, etc. For example, today Megan and I were driving back to Greeneville and she wanted a milkshake. Me, being the chivalrous man that I am, offered to buy her one. Mcdonald's overcharged me by 20 cents (yeah i know not much, but still) and thankfully Megan's milkshake was fine. Mine however, was chocolate. Apparently the strawberry and the chocolate come out of the same nozzle, so there was a very distinct strawberry flavor, and after a minute, i actually had a chunk of strawbery or five in my shake. Not that i mind strawberry, but i wanted chocolate. This is pretty much par for the course with me and fast food.

Grocery lanes are the same way. It does not matter a lick how short the line is i pick, it will be the slowest in the store. NO MATtER WHAT. I dunno, maybe i"m cursed. Oh well.

Grace and Peace

Jim

5th Sundays

2005-07-31T21:33:00.000-07:00

My church has always given the pastor fifth sundays off. So, today was a lazy day for me. I dont know how I feel about it. I need to be at church, wheher preaching at my church or worshipping somewhere else. Also, I understand that there isn't really much of a "worship service" when the preacher's gone from this church as there is what they call a "sunday school opening." I dunno. Maybe its just new territory for me to get used to. Oh well. I'll figure out what to do, the DS said not to change anything for six months to a year anyways, so I won't worry too much about it.

Grace and Peace

It's (not really) that time of year again!

2005-07-30T21:12:00.000-07:00

It seems to happen earlier and earlier every year. However, this year takes the cake. No joke, I saw Christmas lights on a house today. Strands of the multi-colored variety adorned the front porch of a house on Snapps Ferry Road, just outside of Greeneville TODAY! Megan and I were killing time before our 9:35 PM showing of Charlei and the Chocolate Factory at the Sketchiest theater I've ever been to. We decided to drive up Snapps Ferry Road and see where it went when we spotted them. Granted, they were being used for light and not for "Christmas Spirit," but still.. Its still JULY and we are seeing Christmas lights. It's just wrong.

And someone needs to tell the management of that movie theater that its better to have an empty garbage can against the wall, in plain sight, than to pull the curtain that covers the wall over the trash can, creating a lump in the wall that says "Hey, i'm a trash can, but you can't see me."

I've been gone for a week, and just got back Friday night. I got a call last weekend from my brother John saying that Wesley Woods was short staffed, and so I volunteered for a week as a counselor. That's why i haven't updated. I was too tired Friday night to update, so i stole the Sorting Hat thing from Brooke's blog. By the way, my group was way into Harry Potter. I think that, no matter what you may have read in any of the books, Severus Snape is good. Just wait for book 7, you'll see. Anyhow, along with the harry potter-ness at camp, I decided that I would mess with my campers and pretend to be in Slytherin. Therefore I cheated a bit on the quiz in order to keep with that theme. On another note, camp was fun. Its amazing how God was able to give me the physical strength that I needed to get through the week that I did not know I had. Anyways, its late and I'm tired again.

Grace and Peace,

Jim

Well, at least I'm not a mud-blood

2005-07-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

I'm from Slytherin!

Hogwart's Sorting Hat Quiz

made by The Genki Gang

A Fresh Start, and wisdom from Mom

2005-07-21T20:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I believe it's official... I'm now a Student at East Tennessee State University. According to the "Check Application Status" on their website, I am "Formally Accepted." It will be very nice to have a fresh start in a new place. Interesting Fact... Its no secret that I had some "academic difficulty" at UT..(Translated - "Not going to class.") As a result, there are some less-than desirable grades on my transcript. Some of those classes don't transfer over at ETSU, and the way they calculate quality points for the GPA is slightly different. Moral of the story is this.. even with 99 completed hours under my belt, this slight change in calculation represents a GPA increase of .3. Without giving away my own GPA, that translates to a change from, say, 2.8 to 3.1. That's big. Now, those classes are still there, and they still look bad, but as far as the numbers go, tthey don't seem to be counting against me as much. If I'm right about this, and can take advantage of this fresh start, then my goal of getting into a "quality" seminary (i.e. Asbury Theological Seminary, Duke Divinity Scool, Princeton School of Theology) much more attainable. Thanks be to God!

God works in mysterious ways. Those of you who have been reading my blog since I was on Xanga know that I have been dreading this move ever since I heard about it. I have a habit of seeing the worst in every situation. When I told my mom about this move, she told me not to worry, that God was in this, and that He'd take care of me. I should have not worried and just listened to her. I now serve a church that is much more accepting than the last one. We now live in a house instead of an apartment (The house is a blessing in many ways: Its beautiful when clean, and we are paying less for it than our old 2 bedroom apartment.) Megan just found out she has a full-time job here in Greeneville, through which she and I will both have health insurance. I'm going to play the trombone again, which is something I love. We get to hang out with Brooke and Rachel, two really cool people. And now, the academic puzzle piece has fallen into place. I get a fresh start in a new place, and I may very well be able to get into a decent seminary. Mom was right. God was in this move. Listen to your mothers, people.

When I first learned I would not be returning for another year to my previous church, I was miserable. I felt like I had been very unsuccessful, and was seriously beginning to doubt whether I was actually called into ministry at all. The way this move has gone, the way things seemed to fall into place at just the right time tells me that God is in this, and that HE is on my side. I am more confident than ever in my calling, and would like to close this entry with a Charles Wesley hymn that I posted on my previous blog, "A Charge to Keep I Have." And since I detest when churches skip verses (i.e. lets sing the first and last verses), I'm going to post all four verses.

"A Charge to Keep I Have" Written by Charles Wesley
1. A charge to keep I have,
a God to glorify,
a never-dying soul to save,
and fit it for the sky.

2. To serve the present age,
my calling to fulfill;
O may it all my powers engage
to do my Master's will!

3. Arm me with jealous care,
as in thy sight to live,
and oh, thy servant, Lord,
prepare a strict account to give!

4. Help me to watch and pray,
and on thyself rely,
assured, if I my trust betray,
I shall forever die.

Grace and Peace,

Jim

Avada Kedavra, pt II

2005-07-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

In light of recent events, and my own personal disagreement with how things turn out in a book, I shall study in some detail a certain Harry Potter character, and decide for myself whether J.K Rowling is indeed smoking crack

Avada Kedavra...

2005-07-18T20:40:00.000-07:00

... ought to be cast on JK Rowling for that. I can't decide whether my heart is in my throat or deep down in my gut...

Grace and Peace

A Minor Setback

2005-07-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

In that while world of "picking back up the trombone" I had a minor setback today. The thing's not like riding a bike people. I suck. I mean, I really suck. My tone's not all that bad, but after playing longtones for TWO MINUTES I was sore. I have no chops whatsoever. I'm just like a sixth grader starting out except for the fact that I know how to read music and I know what positions the notes are to be in. Kind of scary, since I've already left a voicemail with the ETSU band director about possibly playing with them. I think I'm going to make it a goal to FORCE myself to practice. 30 minutes a day for a week. Then an hour a day for a week or two. Hopefully before classes start I'll be practicing two hours a day. Maybe if I can do that my chops will come back to me. Another problem, I have no music to play (etudes, etc.) ANybody from the Greene county area know of a music store nearby? Do i need to go to Johnson City? or down to KnoxVegas? Oh well. I'd like to play in the G-ville community band, and possibly the ETSU concert band, and I dont want to get laughed out of the bandroom. For that not to happen, I must find time to practice, in amongst writing sermons, visiting sick people, unpacking boxes (STILL!) and such. Wish me luck.

Grace and Peace

Jim

Ripped straight from Rachel's Blog.

2005-07-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic

At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung

You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping

Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Band, and other things

2005-07-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I miss playing the trombone. Saw the East Tennessee community band today and they were awesome. Had so much fun down at the "Tipps Compound," and saw Ed play the snot out of this piece. It was very enjoyable. Makes me wish I hadn't let the horn gather dust for three years. I don't know what it would even sound like if i picked it back up. If I'm able to transfer to ETSU this fall, I may see if Its too late to audition for their concert band. Surely once i played again for a month or so I'd get some semblance of chops back. But who knows.. what position is F in again? Oh well. Moral of the story is this... Don't neglect the things you love. Speaking of, Its late and I have a wife to go and see.

Grace and Peace

Jim

A unique aroma

2005-07-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

I dont know what it is, but there's something about the smell of charcoal burning... I love it. I'd grill out every day if i could. I think the charcoal smoke reminds me of dollywood. When I was much younger, my grandparents would take my brother and myself to Dollywood (and before that, Silver Dollar City, before Dolly bought it). As you walked under the bridge that the old steam train goes over, you have an option either to go straight or turn right. Straight took you up toward the Flooded Mine and the Blazing Fury, and right took you through a tunnel to the "county fair" type area. Right at that intersection was, and may still be, a little barbecue place. They always had a whole pig turning on a spit over a charcoal fire, and every time i smell charcoal I think of that.

Grace and Peace

Jim

What's a Blog?

2005-07-02T19:48:00.000-07:00

I guess its time to dust off the keyboard and get back to this. Sorry for the hiatus, its been difficult to get to the computer through all of the boxes.

This new church is definitely a different place than where I was before. For example, at the old church, we would eat together once a year, at the annual homecoming service in October. We've already eaten together twice as a church, and I've been invited to two other community functions where there was food, and Megan and I are going to another monday evening. So help me God, if I don't gain 50 pounds while serving this church it will be a miracle.

The first sunday went very well. This is a very informal church, and I'm doing my very best to fit into that mindset. Tomorow we have communion so we'll see how the full Service of Word and Table found in the United Methodist Hymnal goes over. I can be informal about a lot of things, but never about the sacraments.

We are slowly getting boxes unpacked. In another week this place ought to look like home. We need to have pople over!

I'll let you know tomorow how communion goes (and I wont wait a week this time, i promise!)

Grace and Peace

Jim

Moved in today

2005-06-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

moved in today. Its late, i have to preach in the morning, i'll talk about it more extensively tomorow. It went well. Good night

Grace and Peace,

Jim

A New Beginning

2005-06-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

Today was moving day in the Holston Conference, so, as I stated earlier, it is also moving day for my blog. I drove around the town where the old church is this morning and said good-bye to a few of the people, got the church ready for the new pastor, and then picked Megan up and we drove up here to the new place. Tonight is our first night in the new house, though our bed is still in knoxville. We have moved up a few "bare neccesities" (tv, computer, lawnmower, futon) so we're going to sleep on the futon until Saturday when we bring the bed up.

The church is having a hamburger cookout / ice cream social / horeshoe tournament Saturday, so we're going to have to get the truck unpacked by 5 so those of us in the area can get to the event. Well, its late, I'm going to bed.

Grace and Peace,

Jim